Hearing you talk about my nightly breakdowns like...its so normal even for you now, like it doesn't even matter anymore, it felt like I'm already starting to lose you. When I sob into my pillow every fucking night all I want is to hear your voice, to tell me that all this will eventually pass. But most nights I have to get through it alone. When I do call you, you get mad, and I pretend like its no big deal but I spend hours awake in bed afterwards, replaying your words in my head.
"I'm tired of your emotional bullshit."
I don't think you'd even remember saying it but you did, and you can't imagine how much it kills me to know that you're sick of me...eventually you will leave.
Its been a week since my mother talked to me. She won't even look at me. I don't matter to her anymore, like how I hardly matter to you now.
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