ONEMANDRINKINGGAMES.

You need to realize that at one point of time I actually did love you, and I was so hopeful we'd be friends for real. But I guess we're not.

Josh has been going to baybeats the past two nights, and he's going again tonight. So I've been alone to myself since Friday night, but I think I've been doing pretty okay. I don't feel as alone as I used to.

Lykke Li's concert is on the 21st September. I'm going for Alesana's on the 16th. I will honestly die if I miss Lykke Li's, I fucking love her, like you have no fucking idea. But my parents will only let me go for her concert if I do well for my second round of pre-lim examinations. So I just HAVE to do well this time.

To the person who posted on my formspring: I'm serious, you really should text me. I'm super nice, and I know what its like to feel alone and sad. Sometimes it helps talking to somebody. Not saying that I'll be able to make you feel better, but I'll try. (:

"I'MTIREDOFYOUR/EMOTIONALBULLSHIT."

I have this tendency to love everybody I meet...especially knowing that in their own little ways, everybody is broken.

Nobody really knows what I go through at night, or even if they do, nobody really understands. I lie in bed, and cry every single fucking night, sometimes for no reason at all. I used to take pills or drink cough syrup, just so I'd fall asleep more easily but I'm trying not to anymore. It fucks me up when I wake up for school.

Most nights I get through it. I go to bed early to stop thinking. But I always wake up in the middle of the night. Thats when I feel alone the most. Thats when the crying gets worse, the self bruising/cutting starts and I really don't know WHY.

I'm getting better though. It helps, having Josh talk to me, make me feel better. We used to fight a lot, but we don't anymore. Not so much. But he won't always be there when I need him. Why the fuck am I so needy?