I have this tendency to love everybody I meet...especially knowing that in their own little ways, everybody is broken.
Nobody really knows what I go through at night, or even if they do, nobody really understands. I lie in bed, and cry every single fucking night, sometimes for no reason at all. I used to take pills or drink cough syrup, just so I'd fall asleep more easily but I'm trying not to anymore. It fucks me up when I wake up for school.
Most nights I get through it. I go to bed early to stop thinking. But I always wake up in the middle of the night. Thats when I feel alone the most. Thats when the crying gets worse, the self bruising/cutting starts and I really don't know WHY.
I'm getting better though. It helps, having Josh talk to me, make me feel better. We used to fight a lot, but we don't anymore. Not so much. But he won't always be there when I need him. Why the fuck am I so needy?
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